Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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