Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
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