you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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