Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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