I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize