my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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