Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize