you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
