Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Randomize
