the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Maybe he injected his testicle?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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