is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
