Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
