I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
