Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
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We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
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It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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