Your face is a jimmy john
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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