You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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