Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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