i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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