no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
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My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
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OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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