Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
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It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
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Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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