he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
