i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
