Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
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