It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
