so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
