i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
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I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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