a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
