I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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