My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
