you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
