WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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