Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
