you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
