my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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