you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize