im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We are two peas in an std pod
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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