can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
