The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
