guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
