My brain says no but my pants say off.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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