Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
