Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
