he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
