oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
