all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
