i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
