Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
