I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
