Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
