She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Randomize
