I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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