Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
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I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
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Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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