do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
