I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Randomize
