We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
