life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
ugly people sure do ruin things
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
