You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
