Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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