I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
This baby is an asshole
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
