when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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