Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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