so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
