he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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