Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
