We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
