can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
