She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
MIDGETS
????
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
