So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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