He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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